Friday, July 21, 2006

I Left for a Smile

I left Lebanon because I have three kids. I left Lebanon because I do not want them to live through wars and civil wars and death and destruction. I left Lebanon because I do not want them to hate. I left Lebanon because I do not want them to become me. I left Lebanon because I have three kids whom I love more than country and flag.

I look at them today in London and they have a smile on their faces. Their cheeks are red and their lips are not yellow anymore. No more tears or fears.
Last night, they heard aircrafts flying overhead and they did not jump out of their beds into mine, crying and worried that they might die. And when I asked my eldest daughter who is eleven why did she fear the sound of aircrafts in Beirut and not in London, she said: "the ones in Beirut are out to kill".

Yesterday, on our way to London my wife thanked the Lord, (she believes, lucky her), and the British for getting us out safely from Lebanon and this morning she woke up and she cried and cried because she left her house, our home and she might not go back there for a long time.

In Beirut my wife, kids and I lived a dream that ended in a nightmare. And now, here in London, I am lost thinking about my family's future and that of my business and I blame, not Hezbollah or Israel, but myself for believing in Lebanon.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Short interview with an Israeli bomber pilot here.

21 July, 2006 17:50  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hope you'll be safe there, although the world seems less safe each day passing.
Hope you'll be able to come back, and all this will become a distant memory.
For you, your family, Lebanon and Israel.


No War Button

21 July, 2006 18:19  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You did the right thing. Don't feel like having to justify yourself.

Be well!

21 July, 2006 18:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm realy happy that you and your family are safe.
it hurts to read about the home and lost dreams, and the un known future and espesialy the dissapointment from your country.
i am an israeli women and mother. most of my family was murder in the hollocost. when i see the nomber on my mom's hand, i know that my only chance to be is to protect my country/place. cuase i don't trust any other country.
israel react hezbollah who bombed us from your country. they are bombing now too. we are here, under the bombs with our pale children. believe me, no one is happy aboute the huge desuster in lenanone here. it's sad for all of us. we got losts too. we don't separate between humans. it hearts about every innocent humen who get hurts.
we got a lot of arabies friends and we live togather peacfully with a greate respact and love.
we are sitting in the shelters togather... we eat togather... our children are playing togather right now.
there are plenty like us in israel. the fundementalists are minotity in both sides... but they got a heavy voice. we can't work, we can't sleep, we are very warried about the future like you.
i wish that the majority that want just to live peacfully and rull it's life will increase.
take care
jasmine - israel.

21 July, 2006 19:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jasmine

more then 355 civilians dead in lebanon
35 in israel

in south lebanon they dont ve shelters

i m french by my mother side, i m christian lebanese ase well by my dad i was evacuated with the first french, i took back my niece (nearly 3 years old )and nephew (4 years old) there as well as 2 others kids i even didnt know before.

one kid abord the airplane from larnaca told me she saw one guy that YOUR bombs cutted in 2

i saw my dad in 1982 covered by his own blood but at that time the bomb was syrian , i was as well evacuated in 1982 i can just tell that childrens never forget theses souvenirs and never forgive as adults.

we all need, u on your side, me on my side to testify against the horror of the war to make the violence cercle to be ended and reach one day a peace, this peace i believed in when i saw rabin and arafat shaking their hands in the front of the white house

21 July, 2006 19:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi...

My english no is very good... i'm mexican and i live in mexico, i can watch in the tv the war... i think its bad but the people should think more in the tell...

that God blesses them

21 July, 2006 21:17  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

" How can you allow this to go on? What country would allow a small group of people to dictate it’s entire policy? Act now!"

i am an israeli and i can understand the lebanonies. they don't fight just with hezbollah, they need to fight with iram and syria... and u know... those people are heartless. they don't care nothing but their gole. nasrallah lost his sun and he said that it's not matter... he kulled 2 little boys in nazareth and he said that they are shahids now... it's not just guts. lebanon has not got the military power to resist hezbollah. they will kill them all with not pitty. they need help as soon as posible. as u said... syria is playing on lebanone ground. they don't want the "mess" in their own yard. the people of lebanone are victims. israel is fighting in order not to be a victim. but the price is high for both sides. if hezbollah were really brave, they would'nt open this battle in citizen's areas they r cowerds and heartless.

21 July, 2006 23:25  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope all agression will end soon. It will only end once Hezbullah will stop acting as an independant army within the sovreign state of Lebanon.
Peace for Israel and Lebanon.
Peace to all my Lebanese brothers.
Drom David, currently a refugee, from a bombarded village in Northern Israel.

21 July, 2006 23:52  
Blogger Cosmic Siren said...

You are an eloquent writer and I appreciate you sharing your experiences with the world, even knowing that there will always be those won't understand.

Does this blog have an Atom or RSS feed? I would like to subscribe to it, if it does.

22 July, 2006 00:35  
Blogger IsraeliDiary said...

I am glad that you and your family are safe. I thank the British forces for taking initiative and rescuing civilians from the ongoing war in Lebanon.

I myself am from Israel. It is truly sad for all of us to hear about civilian deaths. We're all human beings after all and there is nothing more horrifying than death of innocent people.

I do hope and believe that Israel is doing its best to minimize the number of civilian casualties and if there had been a way to fight hezbollah efficiently without hurting civilians, that's what Israel would have done.

If only Hezbollah didn't hide behind civilians...

I hope that this war will end as soon as possible, that no Lebanese or Israeli civilians will further get hurt in the attacks and that Hezbollah will be dismantled.

You know... if the Lebanese people would revolt against Hezbollah and fight them, Israel would cease its fire and instead would aid the Lebanese in their efforts to bring Hezbollah down - that could be an excellent cooperation!

22 July, 2006 00:59  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the Jewish town underwent the atrocities of the Nazis and everybody I condemn those actions but now they are the executors… perfected the techniques of collective slaughter of the Nazis

22 July, 2006 02:10  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he state of lebanon has just become a terror state. It was announced we will fight along side Hizbullah. Good bye our beloved Cedar Revolution. One day in the distant future, we'll look at March 05 through June 06 as the good ol' days. What a sad, sad and embarrassing day.

22 July, 2006 02:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good luck to you and your familly, i am an israeli woman who isplanning to leav her country as well.
a flag is not a reason to give life away.
greatings my freind!
michelle

22 July, 2006 04:16  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

zadigvoltaire,
There's a good chance that your children will not forgive you for sacrificing their future as Lebanese for a temporary smile. Just write this down and open in ten years times.

22 July, 2006 07:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more Israeli pleased you and yours are safe.
Hope for your speedy return to the "neighbourhood" under better circumstances. Despite the short-term price neither you nor we can afford to loose hope for a better future for all our kids.

22 July, 2006 10:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

an albanian
i live a little distant in a country where muslims are persecuted though a majority. 72% or maybe 80%. however, one thing i don't understand, will those izraeli's explain how manny of their arab neigbours have voted last elections, and for whoom? and is it right that for the sake of letting american leaded army enter lebanon after having sent of peacefully a syrian peace force, is a good reason to exterminate a population? is it wrong to be muslim and live in peace wherever in etiopia, palestine, afganistan, albania or the states? why haven't u the guts to take a white flag and sit down in front of us made tanks and ask for a right to vote to the muslims wherever, in palestine, izrael, egypt, saudi arabia, somalia, and raise ur voice for respecting the gobvernments come out of these elections. the means of democracy are the elections? have u ever asked why should others decide for muslims and non muslims in certain zones?

22 July, 2006 14:46  
Blogger Journey said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and all the children on both sides of conflict and beyond.

They are in a world where they see hate, anger, destruction and some feel the effects of it even in their sleep. Their sweetness, innocence and purity lost all that remains is for all that is negative to be past on to the next generation.

As a westerner it sometimes is hard to grapple with the ancient history that leads to the conflicts in the middle east. Our values, thinking (all of which are solely within our own cultural constructs) do not enable us to explain to our own children why this new war is happening. Explaining recent events to them, does not give them the entire geo-political context of this war. There will never be enough explanations to fully restore the innocence of those that did not leave or could not get out. All we can do for them is pray. Yes, in my belief system their is hope that the world can somehow prevail on both sides to prevent ancient old hatreds from further boiling over and creating even more destruction.

As a child who grew up watching the daily Vietnam dispatches, of murders and assassinations on tv, and later lived in South America under Pinochet's rule, I breath a sigh of relief knowing the love of your children helped you to leave.

Loving my own city as I do, I know it must have been a hard decision for you. I hope and pray all goes well for you and your family, and that your wife and you can also find smiles in your own heart soon. I pray that somehow this nightmare will end for all middle-eastern civilians soon and somehow a more permanent peace can be established.

In essence, I pray for a miracle to happen soon!

22 July, 2006 16:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

eoghan. you said: "the Jewish town underwent the atrocities of the Nazis and everybody I condemn those actions but now they are the executors… perfected the techniques of collective slaughter of the Nazis "

SHAME ON YOU!
if you compare israel to the nazis and their tecniques to kill it just show your ignorance.
1. the jews in europ never attack, bomb or used violence against any one in europ. in fact, they contributed a lot in all espects: science, medicine, culture, economy and they joined even to the army in all countries they were living.
2. the "crime" of the jews in europ was their religion and ethnic race - shemic (like the arabs).
3. the nazis techniqes were :
- they put jews in gethos, shaved their heads and beards, stole all their homes and property, made them to wear pijamas with yello tags "jew", they did'nt let them to earn money - they sturve them, they took the males into a slaves camps and the female too, the weak old people and the children they killed right a way by gaz or they burned them a live...they did it to the slaves at camps after they got sick or weak too,
they did executions by shuting all the time, they made experiences on people and children and made sopes from people (yes...).
they burned on their hands a nombers (like a cows), they wraped women, they murdered 6,000,000 jews!!!!!!

the refugees that left built their country 57 years ago in israel, after they got the premission from the un. palestine was not a sovereign country. palestine was occupied by the british then. jews and palestines were living there before.
from that day - of the un declaration - the arabs start to attack the jews in israel. and the israeli's responed and the 1948 war started. from then - we are fighting for our living and the palestines too.
both sides did a lot of mistakes under the circumstances of war and battle. IT'S NOT A RACISM OR RELIGIOS WAR! IT'S A MATTER OF LIVING!
israel occupied lands from egypt, syria because they sat on estrategic places and they did'nt stop to attack citizens from there. during the war 1948 and 1967 the palestinians refugees ascaped from their lands (not because they acted for peace living, because they attacked israel and they sat in gazza, jeriho and even tried to go to jordan. but guess what. hassan killed them all. he did'nt want them in his land. (black september).
meny israeli's wanted to return those occupied lands during the years. we returned the lands of egypt when saadat and begin sighned the camp david peace agree. we made the same agree with jordan and we got economy cooperation untill today with the jordans. we tried meny times to sighn on agreements to give back occupied lends to the palastinians in order to get peace with arrafat but the palastinans (after they sake hands with us) proceed to kill and to bomb and did'nt respect the agreements. because the hamas and the hezbollah did'nt agree and they are acting indepenent against arrafat and abu-mazen. they choose to be a terrorists and to destroy israel.
should we let them destroy us?
where will we go? to europ again?
who stoped the holocost and when?
we got an history rights in israel. it was our country for dozens. we don't have any choises but to protect ourselves.
yes, we developed a strong army. we don't have any choise. arabic are sitting with us. they got rights to vote, they are sitting in our goverment (without serving in army), they got social condisions, they work, learn, build villas, everything like us.
if the palastinians in gazza and other places would respect the agreements, they were living now in peace and wellfare.
but they choose to give terrorist group the power... and they use them. they live in fear from them. they take their money for them selves not to build a healthy life for their children. and those terrorists are living among civilians in lebanone, gazza, every where. cause they are cowerds. cause they don't give a damm about their people. nor children and weman.
so how can israel strike them without innocence people won't heart?
ofcourse us want to strike those terrorists. did you forgot the twin buildings? what 3000 innocent people did to them? the religios war is from those arab terrorists side if you mentioned that. israel want to live a peacfull life and ready to give up a lot for this sacred cose.
WAKE UP!

22 July, 2006 16:43  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

London is stable and safe because of Britain's history and a society that worked out its problems and its violence..............let's hope it stays that way even as it changes so much.

22 July, 2006 20:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"London is stable and safe because of Britain's history and a society that worked out its problems and its violence..............let's hope it stays that way even as it changes so much."
yea right! we saw how margaret tacher deal with focland... and with irland... london is stable because she was'nt so patient to terrorists and "enemies"... and it was'nt a matter of living. it was just for a big eyes.

23 July, 2006 00:52  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was thinking more of Wat Tyler, The Civil War, The Chartists, the Miners' Strikes............and the fact that different values have entered the society with Muslim immigration such as burning books and threatening to murder people and then doing so..................these were not values that made our aociety stable.

As for Northern Ireland it was handled with kid gloves and certainly much less ruthlessly than in Malaya or Kenya where terrorism was a problem.

The Falklands were a direct result of incompetence by the Thatcher Government trying to save £300.000 pa and ended up spending £800 million on lost ships not to mention dead soldiers.

Britain should be a lot more ruthless overall and deal with those that do not uphold its values - Lebanon is welcome to its passport-holder Omar Bakri

23 July, 2006 11:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Where to begin when there are so many heartbreaking blogs here. I think Michelle put it best. I think the safety of your children and family should come before anything else. And I think if you teach them peace, they will go back and rebuild a peaceful nation. That being said I also agree with another blogger who said the US is hypocritical. Not all of us feel that way you know. I live in the US and was appalled at Condoleza Rice's remarks today. I don't believe we can send aid to Lebanon while send more ammunitions to Israel. You can't do both and I have never liked this particular administration. There were millions of us here to protested going to Iraq because we knew it would end up this way. WE DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE THIS WAY. We don't hate Arabs or Muslims or anyone else from a different culture and religion. There are a lot that do, but there are many more of us that only want peace and happiness for you and your families. It's frustrating for us because we can't understand your politics and I won't sit here and lecture you and pretend to know how to fix it. I don't know anything in the grand scheme of it. But I do know that I hate that you think we hate you. Not true. I, and many others, only wish the best for you. I wish I had a helpful suggestion I could make without sounding preachy. But the absolute truth is I don't. Only the civil war here in America was what finally won us our independence from Britain and look at our two countries now. If I could pray hard enough, cry long enough, or scream loud enough to help any of you, I would. Believe me. This world is so full of hate and violence it saddens me everyday. I don't know if I'll ever see a planet earth that is built on peace and love but I hope so. Human beings will be the destruction of this entire planet if somehow, some way, things don't change and SOON! And yes, because we're not used to terrorism here, the world trade center was a horrifying day that we'll never forget. America cried for months and months afterwards. Everyone I knew, including myself, walked around in a daze for at least a year. But I think it's because we realized our easy lives here in America were probably unraveling at that moment. We became a small part of what the rest of the world sees on a daily basis. Reality. We are spoiled here, we take things for granted all the time, and we probably don't deserve everything we have. But I'm greatful everyday for living in a country where the people step up to the plate each and every day to help each other and yes, other countries as well. Not talking about my government now. You saw what happened after our hurricane Katrina. It was the PEOPLE who came to the rescue. Total strangers drove across the country to help while people were stranded on their roofs screaming for help. Thousands of people opened up their homes to total strangers. We are the lucky ones and I hope someday all of you are back safe in your homes and you will also say, you're the lucky ones. Many blessings and hopes for a peaceful future for you and yours.
A caring American

25 July, 2006 08:05  
Blogger Yishay said...

We live in London. Call me if you need any kind of help, advice or support. I would be very keen to meet you and hear about your experiences from first hand. I hope you can revive your dream soon, and that our dreams will intertwine.

Yishay, yishaym at gmail

26 July, 2006 18:12  

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